Why?

Why?
Probably one of the most peculiar question to ask yourself. It is a question you ask when you want answers, but sometimes the question tends to linger. It begins to burn into your heart. Obscures all that makes you happy and soon you find yourself being merely a hollowed shell that drags itself through the thick sludge life has become. Why is the question of uncertainty, a heavy burden you carry on your shoulders until frailty overcomes and the search for answers continues in your darkest dreams. With lies being thrown into your face, as though you are stoned to death but yet cling on... Because you know that no answer to your question can hurt as much as not knowing why.

Recently I was granted salvation from this torment. My questions have been answered and the frailty that has become so much of a deer companion now grew into new strength which allows me to carry on. No longer in search for answers, that has dragged me deeper into a casem of fiery darkness, yet continuing my search back to the light of day.

Waiting

Heres another short poem I wrote, enjoy

Waiting

All I do is sit and wait
As a slave to my regretful fate
While my mind drifts ever on
To times long rotten and gone
Wandering through days that passed
Wondering about my past
With seizures jolting through my sanity
All I do is wait for clarity
When finally I reach a place
That shines warm shimmers in my face
Blinding lights to lead the way
Marking escape from this dark day
Leading to a place where I belong
Leading to the days for which I long
A place that haunts my every night
And fades to black the brightest light
So all I do, with silent screams
Is beg for release of these tormenting dreams

Lost

Here's something I've never done: publicly sharing one of my poems.
Its not the longest, and probably also not the best piece I've written but as i've said in my previous post, sometimes you just have to start small and work your way up.
So here it is:

Lost

Wandering through endless nights

Searching only for the day

Yet our blackened hearts obscure all lights

That could guide us on our way

As we strive for what we cannot reach

Ripping open endless seams

Creating gaps that nothing seems to breach

Are only hollowed deeper by our dreams

Dreams that allude only lies

False hope and false perfection

While we shut our eyes

While we part from lives reflection

As I have said before, sometimes we chase this unreachable state of perfection up to a point to where it breaks us. It leaves us blind to the things that really matter, the things we already have and those that will never leave us and if we don't take a step back we'll forever be blind.

A Greater Foundation

"Sometimes we have to watch our whole lives fall apart, before we can rebuild them again - a greater foundation."

A quote from one of my favourite bands: "As I Lay Dying", which is currently on hold, yet the inspiration I personally get from their lyrical genius never ceases.
Life didn't come with a set of instructions, so it isn't surprising to see ourselves struggling to find the easiest path leading to times of content. We strive for our goals, being pushed by a sense of purpose fuelled by happiness we encounter on our journey. Yet what happens when we strike an obstacle? An obstacle so large it can't simply be overrun? An obstacle that soon obscures all light shed upon our future and rids us of all feelings of happiness. What will keep pushing us forward if our tank is empty and our sense of purpose slowly fades?
Nothing
Or so it seems...
You see, on our journey most of us have forgotten what it was that got us started in the first place. We are running so fast in hopes to reach our future today, our vision is tunnelled, and everything that seems unnecessary is blurred. We are starting to need more to keep us going and a vacancy soon builds in our hearts. A vacancy that through endless consumption will soon grow into inconceivable proportions. It fills us wholly, and nothing that we do seems to be able fill it.
We have reached that said obstacle; ourselves.
Yes, sometimes and most of the times we are our biggest obstacle. We've overrun ourselves with our dreams, pursuits of perfection and ideals and now we stand on the very ruins of what it was that got us to where we are. Desperately we try to fix it with a duct tape smile but the foundation continues to crumble. It leaves behind only a black veil, a thick mist of misery that marks the premature end to our journey.
However, much like our heart that beats with every waft of air that fills our lungs nothing in our life is static, and our journey can continue if we choose. All we need to do is rebuild, rebuild the foundation that carries us on our way. Rebuild our vision of what it is we want and what it is we need. It might seem hard and endless but even the strongest remnants of history began with a single piece. We need to stop trying to look ahead to what we cannot even see, and restart by looking forward only the next step ahead. Rebuild piece by piece with clarity at heart and mind and you will soon find yourself on a foundation stronger and greater than you could've ever imagined.